Black Sheep
by the sixth turk
Summary: Kadaj struggles with feeling like he will never measure up to Sephiroth. Will his hatred for Cloud finally push him over that elusive edge of perfection? Oneshot, songfic.


Kadaj stood atop the remains of a building, surrounded by rubble and the shattered remains of people's lives; barren wasteland spread endlessly before him. A small puff of dust in the distance marked the rapidly approaching Cloud and Fenrir.

**So much to say, so little time for me to explain the way I feel  
You only see things the way you want to see them**

_"Kadaj,"_ whispered a voice inside his head. _"Let me out. I want to spill my hatred on the black sheep."_

The remnants of Sephiroth murmured from deep inside his spirit. _"I must fulfill the mission that Mother has given me. You were never anything more than a puppet. You were never truly the one who would carry out the legacy of Jenova."_

**It makes sense to you, all these things you do  
You got it all figured out while everyone is confused  
How do you do it?  
In your mind I'm just blind  
You're right all of the time**

Kadaj barely registered the skidding bike and storm of dust that announced Cloud's arrival. His heart was shattering… _never anything more than a puppet._ The whispered words of Sephiroth cut into his soul, more surely than a thousand swords. _I was never anything to anyone._

**I think for myself, I guess I'm way out of time  
I'm not who you are  
I'm so sorry  
I can't do anything right**

Cloud jumped off his bike, lifting his sword. Kadaj still stood atop the building, the wind whipping his hair, his coat, and blowing fine granules of dirt into his face.

**You don't know me, stay out of my life  
Kick me while I'm down, I want you to**

The black sheep stood before him. But who was really the black sheep? Was it Cloud? Or had it been him all along?

_You were never anything more than a puppet._

Kadaj, slowly being engulfed in despairing rage, raised his arm into the air, saw the green tendrils of power begin to swirl around the materia lodged there.

_Sephiroth, I'm sorry._

**I can't be like you**

"So what if I'm a puppet?" he screamed at Cloud. "Once upon a time, you were too!" He spat out the last words and flung the materia's power at Cloud. The blond dodged and came at him, sword at the ready. Kadaj drew Souba and hurled himself off the building. Metal clashed on metal as the two weapons met. And met again. Kadaj lost himself in the dance. Twist, stab, evade, spin again. His body ached, crying out for him to stop. But his rage continued to drive his sword.

No, he realized. Not his rage.

Sephiroth's.

**No matter what I do, it's not good enough  
I give all that is me, still it's never enough  
So why try? I give up**

Kadaj found himself gripping the edge of a building, dangling over a yawning chasm with a box in his hand. A box…The remains of Jenova…Mother. And the remnants of Sephiroth within him were straining, struggling to break free of the prison in which they were contained.

**What does it feel like to be in your shoes?  
And walk over everyone like you do?  
Tear me down again, I want you to**

Dimly, Kadaj heard someone speaking. He realized it was him, but the part of him that he no longer had any control over. He was seeing through Sephiroth's eyes, fighting through Sephiroth's body.

The small part of him that was still Kadaj whispered. _You were never anything more than a puppet._

The Sephiroth part of him answered back. _And now you are nothing more than a stepping stone towards a greater goal._

He hung in the air, surrounded by swords. The black sheep stood below him, watching as the one black wing unfolded.

"Stay where you belong," he said. "In my memories."

"I…I will never be a memory."

The Sephiroth part of him dissolved and Kadaj fell to his knees in front of the black sheep.

No.

Cloud was never the black sheep. It had always been him.

Kadaj.

Gripping Souba, he charged at Cloud, only to fall into his arms.

_You were never anything more than a puppet._

A voice spoke to him. Not inside his soul, or his mind, but to him.

"We're all waiting for you, Kadaj." A smiling face appeared, framed by brown hair. A hand reached out to grasp his.

"Okay," he said.

**You're so lovely, so beautiful  
You're perfect in every way**

Faintly, in the depths of his heart, he heard the words. _You were never anything more than a puppet._

Kadaj closed his eyes. _No. I am something to someone. And you aren't…you never were, Sephiroth. You are the black sheep. And I am more than a mere puppet._

**Don't want to be like you**


End file.
